He said that while incest is generally illegal in most jurisdictions, the laws tend to be enforced in a way that would protect minors, prevent sexual abuse, and address imbalances of power. I spoke to Dan Markel, a professor at Florida State University College of Law.

Let’s deal with your legal questions first. I admit this is my first letter about homosexual, incestuous twins, but I’m going to take you at your word that you two are happy and that I should suppress the images that came to mind of two sets of brothers who lived together and came to unseemly ends: the pack-rat Collyer brothers and the twin gynecologist Marcus brothers. Is this one of those times when honesty is not the best policy? If so, how do we get everyone to stop worrying we will die alone? I’m also concerned about the legal implications of this-would the therapist be required to report us to the authorities? Could we go to prison? I think he’s out of his mind, but I also want to make him happy. He thinks that if we get the family together with a therapist to talk through the issues, they’ll eventually accept it. My brother, though, is exhausted with this charade. It’s nobody’s business, and I fear they would find our relationship shocking and disgusting. I feel we should continue being discreet for the rest of our lives and blow off their questions. They know we’re gay, and we live in a state where same-sex marriage is legal, so we’re getting pressure to settle down. Our dilemma is how to deal with our increasingly nosy family and friends. I’m not writing to you to pass moral judgment on our relationship-we’re at peace and very happy.

But we never fell out of love with each other, so after graduation we moved in together and have been living very discreetly as a monogamous couple ever since. We attended schools far apart and limited our contact to family holidays. We knew this could ruin our lives, so we made a pact to end it. We hoped it was “just a phase” that we’d grow out of, but we wound up sleeping together until we left for college. Of course we felt guilty and ashamed, and we didn’t dare tell anyone what we were doing.

After a couple of years, we realized we had fallen in love. When we were 12 we gradually started experimenting sexually with each other. We were always extremely close and shared a bedroom growing up. My fraternal twin and I (both men) are in our late 30s. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the live discussion. Got a burning question for Prudie? She’ll be online at to chat with readers each Monday at 1 p.m. Please send your questions for publication to (Questions may be edited.) Get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week click here to sign up.

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